we haven’t seen each other in a while. she emailed me the other day. then she unhid herself from me on chat. that feels a little weird, like someone does that and you think it’s because they want to talk. mind you, i wrote the last thing back to her on the emails, just a couple of notes. i thought i’d see how long she’d keep that up. but no. then no chat for days even though i can see her there. now life is getting really busy. weekends are starting to fly by. summer gets complicated. eventually she’ll go on that dream vacation she planned without me and rip my heart out all over again. maybe i’ll finally get a clue and do something nice without her. the hurting hurts too much. she stopped trying a while ago. i’m not trying just because i can’t be ignored by her any longer. she must want to believe she’s better off. i really don’t know.
anguished, not a bulldog
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this day wasn’t sad but that’s how the photo feels to me now. that’s how i feel now.
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i’m holding my breath. let’s see if that works.
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"i’m feeling new levels of hurt"
a 6-word love story by anguished bulldog
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again…
just woke up from a deep, long fog and realized it’s all terribly wrong. you don’t do these things to someone you love. another cat. another amazing vacation planned without me (and announcing it to all of my friends). coming and going as she pleases. all new mind games. blaming me for everything until i literally feel insane even when i just keep telling her i just want to talk and not pretend. well, she gets to be alone now. deep down she must truly want that because she tries so hard to make it happen.
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"i thought she would come back"
a 6-word love story by anguished bulldog
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