we haven’t seen each other in a while. she emailed me the other day. then she unhid herself from me on chat. that feels a little weird, like someone does that and you think it’s because they want to talk. mind you, i wrote the last thing back to her on the emails, just a couple of notes. i thought i’d see how long she’d keep that up. but no. then no chat for days even though i can see her there. now life is getting really busy. weekends are starting to fly by. summer gets complicated. eventually she’ll go on that dream vacation she planned without me and rip my heart out all over again. maybe i’ll finally get a clue and do something nice without her. the hurting hurts too much. she stopped trying a while ago. i’m not trying just because i can’t be ignored by her any longer. she must want to believe she’s better off. i really don’t know.